“30” & “Bloated by Thoughts” by Sydney Gore

Face painted in blue watercolor with red splatter


i’m starting to think
i’ll be treated with
more respect when
i’m a woman
in her thirties

Bloated by Thoughts

There's comfort in the pain of a soft demise
It bubbles up from the inside until your nerves begin to spasm
And you slowly unravel, drowning in feelings the naked eye can't visualize
Choking on words that inaudibly flutter from the bottom of your throat
Your belly aches, bloated by thoughts that are too irritating to digest
How can you trust a gut that's been compromised?

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Sydney Gore is a writer, editor, poet, and journalist based in the city of rotten apples (NYC). An earth angel reporting for duty, she tells stories about life and the culture that enriches it from music and art to wellness and feelings. Sydney has been published at Teen Vogue, The Strategist, Vulture, MTV, The FADER, Crack Magazine, Byrdie, Broccoli, Dope Girls, and more. You can find her conducting vibe checks via Twitter at @sydegee. To keep tabs on her growing body of work visit sydegore.tumblr.com.

Andrew Marathas is a longtime writer and arts educator living and working in Salem, Massachusetts with a history of facilitating arts summer camp programming for teenagers in Connecticut and teaching higher ed materials and concepts classes for college-age illustrators in Massachusetts. He graduated from Montserrat College of Art in 2007 with a BFA in Illustration. More of his works can be found on social media @andrewmarathas – or simply through his website, www.andrewmarathas.com.

At the poet’s request, this honorarium has been directed to Building Black Bed-Stuy. Building Black Bed-Stuy’s mission is to protect, preserve, and liberate the Black community by providing financial relief for Black-owned businesses and organizations in Brooklyn and beyond. The committee is invested in building lasting generational wealth and economic power within the neighborhoods that are home to Black culture. Click here to donate.