“Last Year and All the Years Before I Said You Could Find Me Anywhere” by Libby Hsieh

Illustration of black handled scissors cutting up a credit card

Last Year and All the Years Before I Said You Could Find Me Anywhere

I, in the worst rated buffet in New York
I, in a field of statues
I, in the pain in your neck
I, in diluted soccer shirts in dirty jersey 
I, in calling your mother at 3AM
I, in decreation and tv dinners
I, in kindly saying yes to a terrible date
I, in a herd of children in yellow coats and carefully weighted balloons
I, in an overactive sensorium when I see T
I, in a romance between a horse-jumper and a horse
I, in a reprimand against you after too many drinks
I, in my lack of humor
I, in psychic numbing
I, inside an insurance company in Boise, ID called Elizabeth’s Insurance
I, in an attempt to keep the gruffness at bay
I, in a showcase of verbal juggling
I, in an abundance of kissing
I, on the wall at a piercing shop
I, atop tea towel hats and potatoes from the garden, 

I, sweeping a floor in a house full of dirty boys
I, cutting up credit cards down the middle
I, throwing rocks at your window dressed in drag
I, locking you in my backyard shed
I, blocking you off the road with traffic cones
I, giving you less than a one-star rating
I, breaking promises other people made for me
I, lurching around like a spider after a cry
I, banishing myself to a corner like a baby with a god-complex
I, poking holes in our plaster walls like I’m rescuing the children inside of them 
I, swimming towards the deep
I, standing in a no-world 

I, as Lou Reed while he sings “THE TABLE” with Metallica
I, as Pasolini writing to Ninetto
I, as Pedro Almodóvar hiding in his underground house
I, as Eileen as they take another shot of T
I, as Frank O’Hara writing a poem about cowboys while watching TV
I, as the dyed red streaks of hair on Kurt’s head
I, as a doctor prescribing ten ways to undo your stress
I, as a god of chaos and astute rejection of astrology
I, as some form of luddite, or stone-aged, or stoned, or deserving of a stoning according to
I, as an autodidact and tormented sage
I, as a punk in a pit
I, as an exvangelical
I, as a spirit mid-exorcism
I, as the priest calling upon the father, son, and holy spirit
I, as a fortress of unapology
I, at a barbeque of private secrets with former WASPs attending
I, as a boy in the movies
I, as a girl in bed
I, as a cloud when I’m dreaming big
as a 
                                    ah,  Here I am, near the sea.
                                    Do you think we could stop here for a while?

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Libby Hsieh is an interdisciplinary artist from Los Angeles. After graduating from UCLA, Libby went to pursue their musical efforts with their band Girl Friday—garnering critical attention across the United States. Libby’s poems have appeared in 50/50, Trash Day Press, Des Pair, The Good Press, Westwind, Phoenix Rising, and more. They are currently studying for an MLitt in Creative Writing at the University of Glasgow.

Chelsea Dirck is an illustrator, musician, and maker-of-things who lives in the Hudson Valley. They like dogs, line drawings, and organizing small objects.
For more of their work visit www.chelseadirck.com or follow them on Instagram @chelsea.dirck.