“Runt” & “The Horse Girl Ideal” by Dana Guth

Runt

Yesterday my pap smear got canceled
I learned my namesake died from oxycodone
after a horseback riding accident
I always try to be good
I am not good, but I try to be
I have swaddled a baby pig
I have paid close attention to music
I embrace awe on my daily walks
grazing the last brown-spotted leaf
too real to be saved
I write poems to become more
emotionally available
and at midnight, hold you for a long time
endure the shameful visions
the rot of traffic
your red tongue in my ear, still
I shut my eyes and see my parents
huddled in the tipping scales
fourteen hundred thousand locusts
bloating the earth
I’m dying and I can’t stand it

The Horse Girl Ideal

Waking up in a crush
of air, self-effacement air
the throat—be quiet

and let me make you a delicious meal
sweet like your first set of parents

these moonrays
they say I’m Ovulating!

They say
it’s a good time to visit the devil

Nobody can squint in real life
can’t just crawl into limbo coma
I’m talking

There’s going to be a lot more
like me, the Horse Girl Ideal

I like your intramuscular spasms
but don’t say it

instead crystal stream
and fractal-light
gives me

a slice of your hand
a mew look
a pout

It isn’t natural to stare at something for so long
It really isn’t natural to stare
for so long

Tags: dana guth, sara rubin